Dating/Relationships
Communication Repair Checklist
I FEEL
I'm getting scared.
Pleases say that more gently.
Did I do something wrong?
That hurt my feelings.
That felt like an insult.
I'm feeling sad.
I feel blamed. Can you rephrase that?
I'm feeling unappreciated.
I feel defensive. Can you rephrase that?
Please don't lecture me.
I don't feel like you're understanding me.
Sounds like it's all my fault.
I feel criticized. Can you rephrase that?
I'm getting worried.
Please don't withdraw.
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I NEED TO CALM DOWN
Can you make things safer for me?
I need things to be calmer right now.
I need your support right now.
Just listen right now and try to understand.
Tell me you love me.
Can I have a kiss?
Can I take that back?
Please be gentler with me.
Please help me calm down.
Please be quiet and listen to me.
This is important to me. Please listen.
I need to finish what I was saying.
I'm starting to feel flooded.
Can we take a break?
Can we talk about something else for now?
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SORRY
My reactions were too extreme. Sorry.
I really blew that one.
Let me try again.
I want to be gentler but I don't know how.
Tell me what you hear me saying.
I can see my part in all this.
How can I make things better?
Let's try that one over again.
What you are saying is...
Let me start again in a softer way.
I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
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STOP ACTION!
I might be wrong here.
Please let me stop for a while.
Let's take a break.
Give me a moment. I'll be back.
I'm feeling flooded.
Please stop.
Let's agree to disagree here.
Let's start all over again.
Hang in there. Don't withdraw.
We are getting off track.
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GETTING TO YES
You're starting to convince me.
I agree with part of what you're saying.
Let's compromise here.
Let's find our common ground.
I never thought of things that way.
This is not a problem in the big picture.
I think your point of view makes sense.
Let's include both our views in a solution.
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I APPRECIATE
I know this isn't your fault.
My part of the problem is...
I see your point.
Thank you for...
That's a good point.
We are both saying...
I understand.
I love you.
I am thankful for...
One thing I admire about you is...
I see what you're talking about.
This is not your problem, it's our problem.
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The information on this website is for general educational purposes and is not intended to be a substitute for professional counseling. If your situation is an emergency, please call 911.
