- Attacking someone’s personality or character rather than discussing specific problems or behaviors.
- Criticism comes across as judgment, accusation or blame, and is extremely damaging to a relationship.
- The remedy for criticism is focusing on how to improve a specific behavior or resolve a specific problem. Be specific. And be constructive.
- Hostility, name-calling, insults, mocking, rolling the eyes, sneering, or other expressions.
- The remedy for contempt is respect.
- Usually a response to contempt or criticism.
- Examples of defensiveness are denying responsibility, making excuses, dredging up the past, saying ‘yes’ followed immediately with ‘but,’ repeating yourself, or whining.
- The remedy for defensiveness is kindness and trust.
- Stonewalling is putting up barriers in a relationship, especially to avoid conflict.
- Examples are refusing to talk or cooperate, procrastinating, ignoring problems, and walking out.
- The remedy for stonewalling is forgiveness and communication.